Title: If
Author: N.G. Jones
Genre: New Adult
Release Date: March 16, 2015
Synopsis
If…
Someone hadn't scarred my face.
I hadn’t followed my dreams to LA.
That tweaker hadn't attacked that homeless guy.
I hadn't invited a stranger over for Thanksgiving.
I hadn’t fallen in love.
If I hadn’t lost him.
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If…
I hadn’t gone for that drive.
I saw the world like everyone else.
My “genius” wasn’t slowly destroying me.
I had just walked away before I could ever know her.
She hadn’t ignited the spark.
If the spark didn’t ignite the madness.
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Excerpt
I ran my fingers down the cotton of her tank, over the slope of her backside, and we were intertwined. I felt myself melting into her, our colors swirling in dazzling circles, like paint flowing onto a spinning turntable. I needed to stop this, but the waves of heat that were gentle before overtook me like a raging river, pulling me closer to her. She was so soft, everything about her was velvety and smooth, and it made my kisses harsher. I traveled down the curve of her delicate neck to the space just behind her ear and took in her scent, a hint of soap with a kiss of the flower that only I could smell. I pressed my lips against the secret nook, and she let out a moan, a sound I had never heard from her, and so I saw something new in her voice: a little burst of gold and violet that exploded and disappeared like a firework.
You have to stop, Ash.
God I didn’t want to. I wanted more than anything to take this all the way, to experience every inch of her smooth skin, see all the different shades and shapes of her moans, and taste the rest of her body, but I had rules. I made these rules for myself years ago, and there was a reason for these rules. Memories of death flashed before me, and the heat that was running through me turned so cold, my teeth almost chattered.
The taste of her kisses was overtaken by that of sour milk. Lavender was overtaken by gasoline. I had to make myself remember. I had to find a way to fight this rushing tide.
Fucking stop, Ash!
Finally my rational thoughts screamed loud enough to be listened to, and I pulled away. She looked at me for a few seconds, her stare blank, her lips slightly parted. I understood her confusion. Just seconds ago I could have devoured her, but I couldn’t let the switch flip. Now I was afraid it was too late. I had to leave.
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